It’s. Apso-f-ing-lutely. Worth it.

Run. Away.

If you are embarking on any personal journey towards living a healthier, happier, active life, chances are you know what you have to do. You’ve heard it. Seen it written all over social media. Or even written it yourself. I am talking about three words. Three words hold the only key to unlocking a better version of yourself. Three words. You know what they are. Say them with me. Believe. In. Yourself.

We all have something we believe in. And why not believe in the very person. Who decides whether or not we will finish that race. Lose the weight. Get in shape. Make better food choices. Drink less booze. Or love ourselves more. Believe. In. Yourself. It sounds easy enough right?

Heart Shell

The half-true is, believing in myself is easy. Beautiful. Sexy even. Self-confidence runs through my veins. Sure I have dark moments. Or a series of dark moments when I doubt myself. And what I am capable of. And yes. Those moments are difficult. But at the same time. I know they are only dark moments. I know that if I can recognize my dark moments. I need to be ready to show up for a positive versus negative reasons not to quit debate in my head. I know that if I hold my positive ground in that debate. I will win. And before I walk away. I will thank those dark moments for making me a stronger version of myself. I will achieve my goal (s). Make another. And my life goes on. But that’s only half the truth.

White Heart

The whole truth of believing in myself is much murkier. Less sexy. Darker. Painful.  Difficult. And sometimes downright f-ing ugly.

But nobody wants to talk about the murky. Less sexy part of believing in ourselves. Or the dark and difficult moments. Or series of moments. When we are left alone. With ourselves. Left alone with our version of the truth about ourselves. The series of moments when our version of the truth will strip us down to the core of our authenticity. Vulnerability. And weaknesses. Again. And again. Until we learn to fall in love with who we are. And our authenticity. No. Nobody wants to talk about the difficult parts when giving up on ourselves is a viable option. And staying the same means more than becoming a better version of ourselves. Nobody wants to talk about how valuable the downright f-ing ugly parts of believing in ourselves will be for us to become a better version of ourselves. And a stronger version of ourselves. Nobody wants to talk about how f-ing hard believing in yourself is, in a world where the health and beauty industries make billions of dollars off you. Or me. By not believing in ourselves. No. Most of the time, everyone wants to talk about half the truth. Because half the truth is easy. And half the truth isn’t painful.

Heart on a Rock

You see, I didn’t wake up one day believing in myself. It didn’t arrive on a white horse. Or in the mail. It wasn’t delivered by a stork. And I sure the hell didn’t open it on Christmas morning. I didn’t buy any of the latest diets craze. Or beauty fads. No. The less sexy. Downright ugly parts of believing in myself happened over time.

The self-confidence running through my veins comes from my experiences. Mindfulness. Taking chances. Falling. Getting back up. Letting go. Pushing harder. Finishing. Starting over again. And learning to fall in love with myself. Yes. All that happened over time too.

But now that I am here. It’s beautiful. Sexy even. To not give two Fs what Running World has to say about what I wear running. Or what I don’t wear running. To not give two Fs about naysayers but also remember how far I have come to get to here. Where I am today. To get to a place in my life where I feel protective over the runners and other people out there who are going through the much murkier. Less sexy. Darker. Painful. Difficult. And sometimes downright f-ing ugly parts of believing in themselves.

Shell Heart

So if you are embarking on any personal journey towards living a healthier, happier, active life. Or you are somewhere on that journey. Trust me when I say this. I can’t tell you how to believe in yourself. Nobody can tell me how to believe in myself. We have to want something more than staying the same. We have to go through a series on not-so-sexy moments to find out who we are. We have to be willing to learn how fall in love with ourselves. Our self-worth. And the breathing taking perfection of our own authenticity.

But what I can tell you is this. No.Wait.  What I can promise you. Is every single part of going through your journey to the whole truth of believing in yourself. Is apso-f-ing-lutely worth it.

Heart in the Sand

Stay tuned for, in no particular order……..looking back at May in photos. Going forward in June. Big changes. A review. The winner of a Spartan entry. And more.

Is Tuesday being nice to you?

What have you done today to be active?

What’s for dinner?

Until next time, always be true to yourself and think like a boss!

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21 thoughts on “It’s. Apso-f-ing-lutely. Worth it.

  1. Today I ran with my TTP group. We had a couple walkers join us and one of them said he didn’t feel like he had earned his picture with the group as he only walked and felt ‘less’ than us runners. Well…I think I stomped my foot at him and said “Mister…you have earned it just as much as any of us….we do not care if you walk, crawl, or run…you are out here doing it.” Well he got his picture taken and left with a smile…I think I convinced him today that it was worth it! Thank you for your honest post!!!

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    • Awe I just got goosebumps, that’s so awesome!! ❤️I have no doubt you made his day or rather lifted him up when he needed it the most! We all have taken those first steps and if at all possible we shouldn’t always have to brave them alone 😊❤️

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  2. Yeah … for me, it’s not that I don’t have self confidence (although there are plenty of times when that is lacking, too). The bigger issue for me is just the sheer weight of all of the “problems” in my life. I have spent a lot of time wallowing in those problems the last couple of years. Serious wallowing. A week and a half ago I decided to make a major change. I blogged about it, but basically I’ve kicked my longstanding beer habit, as well as giving up Pepsi (my only caffeine source), both on the same day. It’s been ten days now and there is certainly a chance I’ll slide back on either one … every day that goes by. But, I know this, and it’s what I hold on to every time I think of having a Pepsi or a beer — I feel 100 times better today than I have for a long, long time. I still have a long ways to go to get out of the wallowing, but I’m working on it — on believing I can and will do better and be better. Your posts certainly help me keep fighting to get to where I want to be. So, thank you.

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    • I can’t relate in a lot of ways, not currently, but as you’ve seen things seem to happen all at once for me.

      I will have to read your post, things have a way of working themselves out and simply by recognizing and committing to a change, I have no doubt things will not only change for you but the rest too 😊❤️

      Btw, I lost 10 lbs after I stopped drinking soda, it took a while for me to gain it all back! Now I have one every so often, but otherwise it’s a coffee in the morning and water the rest of the day. The caffeine is what I missed the most, but once I got used to it, I didn’t and don’t think about it much.

      As for beer, it’s been a while, but I’ve been known to throw back more than a few here and there 😏

      Keep on keeping on and get on your bike and go! You’ve got this, whatever the “this” is you are wanting to do❤️

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      • Yeah. I expect to see some weight loss soon, but that’s not the reason I stopped the two “evils.” More just to see what it would do to my energy level and mood. And, so far, it’s a resounding success. If I can lose 5-10 pounds in the process, all the better.

        I struggle with just drinking water. I do drink water — some in the morning, some in the afternoon and more when I’m exercising, but I still need drinks that have taste. So, I’ve replaced beer and Pepsi with lemonade and other fruit flavored drinks that are as natural as I can get them. No high fructose corn syrup. No added sugar. I think the bike riding is going to start up again this weekend.

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      • That’s awesome! I’m sure just without the sugar alone you’ll lose and will be a bonus!

        I drink Smartwater and that’s it, no other bottled water brand or from the tap. I don’t know what it is but I notice a huge difference in the taste of water, Smartwater has just a refreshing clean taste to it. I’m obsessed. Seriously.
        Other than that coconut water after a run helps me recover faster. But everything has to be ice cold, year round. 😊

        Have a great ride this weekend! I’m thinking about running away somewhere. I so need it and whether I go or not all will still need to be doneI So I am thinking, I may as well go and come back and do it with a better perspective 😊

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      • Ice cold definitely! You have my support for running away. Need to do that now and then. Where is your preferred running away spot?

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      • Hope you get away. I’m jealous. Got no opportunity to do that for a while. I would vote for the ocean or North Lake Tahoe.

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      • No, unfortunately I have a huge assignment(s) due this weekend that I thought I had more time on 😕 I may try to head to the coast for a few hours though, I’ve been going about once a week and it’s such a nice break! 😊

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