“This Too Shall Pass”

Leaf Heart

Five hours and 47 minutes of sleep since Thursday. The initial shock of things has worn off, replaced by more worry. My Princess is okay. By “okay” I mean she’s been resting and there haven’t been any more incidents. I have been checking in with her every few hours and offering support. And I took her to get something to eat earlier. She says she doesn’t feel good. But to me she just feels a million miles away.

I know there isn’t much more I can do. Well at least not until Monday when options for support and healing are open. But that doesn’t bring much comfort.

I decided not to share many details about what happened. Except how I feel and my perspective. I think it’s best, considering my blog is public. And lets face it, there are people that chose to be not so nice sometimes! But I will answer messages as I have done before. And I am still trying to catch up with all of you pretty awesome people so if I have missed anything especially important, please let me know.

Since running still isn’t an option, I have been trying to nurture myself in small ways today. A short walk. Watering my garden. Picking a bouquet of flowers for the house from my yard. Little things here and there outside to try to ease feeling so overwhelmed and worried.

I am a “fixer”. I look at situations and find solutions for myself and others. But I can’t “fix” this. Not because I don’t understand it, but it’s something my Princess has to work through on her own. I can offer support and love. And unless I am missing something, that’s all I can do. But it’s so difficult to feel like I can’t be doing something more.

Tomorrow is a new day. I have given up on trying to sleep. And I don’t want to take anything to help me sleep, for fear I wouldn’t hear my phone should my Princess need me. I am hoping at some point exhaustion will overtake worry, 12 hours will pass and I’ll wake up. And everything will still be okay.

I am not feeling very boss like. But I do know all this temporary. And just knowing that, I think is pretty close to boss like. As my mother would say. And said to me earlier, “this too shall pass”. And as difficult as everything feels, I believe her.

So until next time, always be true to yourself and think like a boss.

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23 thoughts on ““This Too Shall Pass”

    • Thank you so very much! ❤ Earlier took her to get something to eat, but it was more "lets go, you need to eat"
      But a few ago, she said she was hungry, so I just got back from making/bringing her something to eat. Such a small thing, but it feels so good to be able to do be doing something to help her. And she seems/looks a little better than earlier. Which eases the worry a little too.

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  1. My WP app on my phone has been messed up and TJ told me about your posts from the past couple of days. I am so sorry you all are going through all this. I haven’t gone through this specifically, but I do know the helpless feeling when things are out of your control and ability to fix. I’m praying for you all.

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  2. I’ve read through your posts since your Liebster Award. I didn’t want to comment until now since these last post have described one long heartbreak. I’m confident your Princess will be OK because you are her mother. Of course, you want to fix things, but the fact that you know you can’t, that these problems are for her to fix, speaks volumes about how much you love and how well you know your daughter. That you weathered her “I hate you” period with love and understanding and patience is amazing. I wonder how much the manipulation by your half-sister has contributed to your daughter’s current crisis. I personally think it’s a worse betrayal to mess with the head of a young person than with an adult. It’s also cowardly. And stupid. I commend you for forgiving your half-sister, but like you, i wouldn’t want to be the same room with her again.
    I do hope you can get some sleep and a run. You need to take care of yourself so you can help your daughter as she recovers. Her attempted suicide was a call for help and you responded. There is hope. My thoughts are with you and Princess. Big hug ❤

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    • Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts! It has been a challenging week for sure, but things are moving forward in a positive way. I don’t understand my half-sister or her actions and I do not think I ever will. I don’t agree with bashing another parent to a child regardless of how I feel about them. Or even an adult child for that matter. And its definitely a small, but contributing factor in things with regard to my Princess.Again thank you, I am doing my best to take care of myself and navigate through it all. Taking things one day at a time and I hope to get back to running sooner than later! 🙂

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