My Princess and Her Pups
Yesterday Princess and I went on an evening walk on my creek route. I don’t remember the last time I walked the route, I noticed all sorts of things I haven’t seen before, and it almost felt like I had never been there! Aside from when I am running and I stop dead in my tracks when I see a heart, I am usually completely in the zone. It was nice for her and I to catch up on things. It was an absolutely beautiful evening. And dare I say, it was nice to just walk?! I wasn’t worried about my pace, I wasn’t dripping in sweat or anticipating what song will play next to either sustain my pace or pick it up and I didn’t get the runners high I so desperately crave. But the walk did make me feel better about taking a couple of days off from running. It also reminded me that as much as I know hardcore training will get me to my goals; it is okay to slow down once in a while. And I need to slow down. I don’t always have to be in hardcore training mode. My goals will be met. I will get to all the things I see in my dreams. I ended up here because I couldn’t run/train for so long and unconsciously I have been so afraid of going backwards with running and training, not forward, that I wouldn’t allow myself slow down. Which makes no sense. But it actually makes perfect sense, because when I think about it, I have been running and training full speed ahead since I realized that I can.
Point being. I finally thoroughly trust and have confidence in my physical abilities again. I am only hitting a wall with my pace time. It’s a minor setback. It’s not the kind of setbacks that I have gotten used to. The kind that involve a trip to the emergency room for a cardiac workup or being put on the heart monitor for 24 hours. And now that I am aware of just how afraid of having a setback I was, I am going to slow down. And rather than feeling frustrated or being so f-ing hard on myself. I am going to be happy I hit a wall with my pace time. Because for me, it simply means letting go of fear. Fear that I didn’t realize I still carried with me related to having a heart virus. I am feeling just a little lighter today, and I finally know I can totally put it all behind me. I feel normal again and my life is back to normal. And it feels amazing.
In cherry news, I only have about five pounds left! They should be all gone tonight. And,as grateful as I am to have a cherry tree, with a pretty awesome story behind it that produces an over abundance of cherries, I have had enough of anything that involves cherries until next year for a while.
Until next time, always be true to yourself and think like a boss!