I don’t know if you’ve ever been to the place in your life where you believed happiness was something that could be attained outside of yourself. I wouldn’t wish for anyone to go to this place. Not even my worst enemy. I know this because I have been there. It’s a painful place. Maybe you have been there. Maybe you are there now. Or maybe you are on your way. Maybe you are ready to leave. It’s a place where the lies that we tell ourselves live. It’s a place where the mind steals the beauty from the authenticity of who we are. It’s a place where we believe our authenticity, our abilities aren’t good enough. It’s a place that is fine to visit during an overwhelmingly difficult day, but please, please, trust me when I say this, do not be tempted to stay. You see, it’s a place known for not wanting to let you leave. And it promises to consume your every thought, saying anything in its power to make you keep going back. Again. And again. This place I speak of is called; I will be happy when (fill in the blank).
In I will be happy when, what we believe about ourselves is determined by us. If we allow ourselves to believe a person, having a child, money, being a size 4 or whatever else it is that we believe are things that will determine when we will be happy, then we will go through life returning to I will be happy when. Because you see, the only truly attainable I will be happy when place to go, is, I am happy when I love myself.
We do have a choice to go either place. We do have a choice to stay either place. Yet, too often it is so much easier to go to I will be happy when. It means we can focus solely on the whatever our fill in the blank is. It’s much easier than facing the truth about ourselves, and the how we ended up in I will be happy when . How we see others. How we think others sees us. What we have experienced. What, or who has left us broken. Again. And again. How we see our future. How we see our childhood. What we have overcome. What we have yet to overcome. All of these things contribute to how we see ourselves. How much we have allowed things outside of us determine our self-worth. How much we love ourselves. I know this because I have been there. I know this because I have had people close to me go to I will be happy when. Again. And Again. I know this because there are people close to me who are there right now. And I desperately want them to leave. For good.
But the most difficult aspect of leaving I will be happy when for good, is showing up. Which makes no sense, but at the same time, it makes perfect sense. You see, we must show up, everyday to do the sometimes grueling, emotionally gutting, work on ourselves in order to finally get to I am happy when I love myself. And stay there. The work that needs to be done is unique to us. But that is what makes being there so magnificent. I am happy when I love myself is a place that promises that numbers do not define our worth. Not on a scale, or at the bank. It promises that others do not determine our worth. We define and thoroughly know our own worth. What we deserve and what we want for our lives. I am happy when I love myself shows patience and time to forgive ourselves for our mistakes. Forgive others, for their mistakes. Our past does not define us, rather we define our past. And the lessons we can take from it. Most importantly, when we do the work on ourselves and get to know ourselves a little better, life becomes more beautiful. We don’t have anyone or anything weighing us down, I will be happy when becomes a place we used to visit, and I am happy when I love myself is the place we will stay. For good.
Until next time, always be true to yourself and think like a boss!